Five finds of the fortnight: Edition 18

Have you ever wondered how giraffes fight?

Dear reader,

Last weekend, I was at the launch of Jim Manske’s new book, Pathways to Nonviolent Communication, along with several other NVC trainers and practitioners from different parts of the world.

A few days ago, I received my copy of the book and am looking forward to reading it.

I’m excited about this book because the Pathways to Liberation matrix was a tool I was introduced to during my certification; and it continues to offer me clarity, direction and focus about where I am in integrating Nonviolent Communication.

If you’d like to get a copy, you can order it on Amazon.

Both Jim Manske and the publisher (PuddleDancer Press) will be donating all the proceeds from the sale of this book to the Center for Nonviolent Communication, whose sustainability has been hit by the pandemic.

Please consider buying a copy and/or gifting it to someone you know!

Warm regards,


1. Quote of the week

We are all taught that unselfish (translate "good"), flexible people know the value of compromise. Compromise, as I define it, means we learn to share the resentment 50/50. Much compromise comes out of a scarcity consciousness that does not trust that we both could have all that we want. We fall back on compromise when we lack the energy and the creativity to find the synergistic solutions that could get everyone's needs met fully.

Compromise is a lack of trust in the compassionate generous nature of human beings that could lead to the shift that would allow for the true and natural "giving to" to instead of a compromising resentful "giving in".

~ Kelly Bryson

2. Image of the week

Vivek Bodhisatva’s graphic recording of “Giving up your Assumptions”, an extract from Mary Mackenzie’s book, Peaceful Living. Click on the post to see the detailing.

A post shared by NVC Academy (@nvctraining)

3. Three steps to transforming our judgements

If you’re not sure what need a particular judgement of yours expresses, try an intermediate step.

  1. Identify a judgement you have about yourself or another person

  2. Intermediate step: What expectation, belief or “should” does this come from?

  3. What need does this expectation, belief or “should” express?

This three-step process was prompted by a sharing in our practice group meeting last weekend about how it can sometimes be challenging to translate our judgements into needs. Read an example here.

4. Video: Is anger bad for you?

A couple of years ago, when Liv Larsson was in India for a training, I had the opportunity to record a few videos with her. Here is one of them. You can watch the rest on this playlist.

(Bonus!) How giraffes fight

An article I came across recently suggests that giraffes spar with fairness, consideration and mutual respect.

Sometimes, during the sparring, they would find themselves on the wrong side because of the momentum of the swings of the neck — and then they would immediately stop. Both of them.

There was no cheating. They would immediately stop and then take back the right position and then continue their sparring…there's this mutual respect of both of them, because they could easily say, well, 'I don't care, I'm still on my good side, let's continue.' But no, they mutually respected, stopped and then resumed.”

Neck to neck combat: Giraffes fight fair when they spar, researchers find

5. Event of the fortnight

Tomorrow, I’m offering a two-hour workshop on radical empathy: How do we listen to someone who has a different point of view, especially when it’s about something that matters to us?

Click on the post below to know more.

Register here.

A post shared by Connext Coaching (@connextcoaching)

Share Five Finds of the Fortnight