Five finds of the fortnight: Edition 19

Do you wish you'd learnt NVC at school?

Dear reader,

Last week, I read Alice Sheldon 's book, "Why weren't we taught this at school?"

Alice's book introduces Needs Understanding, which is based on Nonviolent Communication, with simplicity and clarity.

The book introduces the idea of needs, and illustrates how an awareness of needs can help us find more creative approaches to solving problems we face. Each concept has an accompanying example, and tools for practice. I particularly enjoyed the "pause boxes"—spaces and prompts to experience the concepts—and the idea of fingerprint needs.

This book brings together simplicity and clarity with depth and nuance, and is likely to add to your understanding whether you're a beginner, or a practitioner.

It’s available on Amazon, if you’d like to get a copy.

Warm regards,


1. Quote of the fortnight

The old and unfortunate habit of binary thinking has made us believe that taking care of ourselves means ceasing to take care of others and then, in order to take care of others properly, one has to "forget oneself"! Why should there be this mutual exclusion between care for others and care for ourselves?

Thomas D’Ansembourg

2. Image of the fortnight

This fortnight’s image comes from an artist I discovered on Instagram:

A post shared by iulia (@iuliastration)

3. Setting loving boundaries for deeper connections

Yvette Erasmus’ new blogpost on boundaries: “Boundaries are not rigid walls of disconnection. They’re not proclamations that we blurt out during a charged conversation after a lot of self-silencing…done well, they’re dynamic, living agreements that are part of our daily lived experiences with one another. They’re moment-to-moment agreements that shift and change as our levels of trust ebb and flow. They’re fluid, dynamic, and responsive to relational conditions…done well, they keep us both safe and connected to one another.”

Read the whole piece here

4. A 5-minute practice for speaking up

Jesse Wiens-Chu of ZENVC recently shared this short video on speaking up; a preparatory practice for times when you’re not sure if you want to be the person to bring up a difficult topic.

5. Upcoming event alert

Two weeks ago, I hosted a workshop on Radical Empathy, the first part of the ‘Words as Bridges’ series. This Saturday, Manasi Saxena will offer the second part: a workshop on Connected Self-Expression.

One of the deepest challenges in a connected dialogue is to express our whole authentic truth, while also holding care for the other; that is, both the capacity to say what we want to, and responsibility for how we say it.

This workshop will focus on how connected self expression can be a bridge to clarity, greater understanding, and authentic connection.

You’re welcome to attend this workshop even if you didn’t have the chance to attend the first part of the series.

Click here to sign up.